11/14: M is gone...
We dropped off M at his grandparents today. He was very excited to see them and I think he will be fine there. It does worry me that they still had breakables all over on the coffee table, on low shelves, on the floor...do they not know what an 18-month-old can do to these things? Also, they have him in a very high bed and not a crib, but hopefully he will be able to adjust to that as well. For the kid's safety I personally will keep my kids in a crib for as long as they will stay in one without climbing out! That way I don't have to worry about them waking up and wandering around unsupervised.
We already miss him; this new silence in our home is quite eerie. It will be a challenge to live with this silence for the next month; we've decided to wait until after Christmas to accept a new placement, since we've already got tickets to go to Jason's parents' house for Christmas. I do need this time to get ahead in my seminary planning; the goal is to get the rest of the school year's lessons done in the next month. That way we can accept a sibling group of foster kids without worrying about how that will affect my calling.
Don't worry, we are doing just fine! Certainly an emotional day, but we look forward to the surprises the future will bring.
We already miss him; this new silence in our home is quite eerie. It will be a challenge to live with this silence for the next month; we've decided to wait until after Christmas to accept a new placement, since we've already got tickets to go to Jason's parents' house for Christmas. I do need this time to get ahead in my seminary planning; the goal is to get the rest of the school year's lessons done in the next month. That way we can accept a sibling group of foster kids without worrying about how that will affect my calling.
Don't worry, we are doing just fine! Certainly an emotional day, but we look forward to the surprises the future will bring.
11/08: Halloween
We're so glad M got to spend Halloween with us! We went trick-or-treating with Kay and Tyler, who live down the street from us. Tyler is the same age as M, so we've all become very good friends and hang out a lot! Kay and I are such cool moms, we decided to dress up, too!
M had a lot of fun trick-or-treating. He didn't understand that he was supposed to be the receiver of the candy, however; at almost every house he pulled the treats out of his bucket and tried to put it in the bowls of the people giving out candy! What a generous kid :-)
Since I'm not allowed to post M's picture I haven't put any pics on my blog for a while, which is sad. So I'm posting the Halloween picture we took, even though I had to black out M's face. Just imagine a happy little boy eating a light stick, and you'll get the whole picture in your head.
M had a lot of fun trick-or-treating. He didn't understand that he was supposed to be the receiver of the candy, however; at almost every house he pulled the treats out of his bucket and tried to put it in the bowls of the people giving out candy! What a generous kid :-)
Since I'm not allowed to post M's picture I haven't put any pics on my blog for a while, which is sad. So I'm posting the Halloween picture we took, even though I had to black out M's face. Just imagine a happy little boy eating a light stick, and you'll get the whole picture in your head.
10/27: Goodbye, M
Well at court today they decided M would go live with his grandparents. Yes, they are 85 and 81, but they are the healthiest old people I've ever met! Grandma went right up to him and picked M up without a problem! (Keep in mind he is a heavy 18-month-old - he's 31 pounds!) Also, I got the feeling from what they said in court that M would be with his dad again soon (like within a year) so hopefully the grandparents can care for him adequately for that long. His grandparents are very kind and loving, so I feel good about his placement with them, despite their age. We will still miss him very much, though. He is a sweet boy and we're glad we got to spend time with him.
I think we will start accepting placements again next week, but I still have to talk to Jason about that (he's not answering his work phone so he doesn't know the news yet).
Don't worry, I am handling the news just fine. I feel good about the court's decision, and also I think my previous nanny experience helps a bit, too; I've had to say goodbye to sweet little boys before!
I am happy that M shared so many joyful moments with us when he was here. In that short month he learned to say Pool, Hot, Bear, Baby, Banana, Poop, and some others I can't remember right now. We taught him to sign More, Food, and All Done. We played and laughed many times together, and M helped us to see the Great Outdoors in a different, special, down-to-earth (because he's so short, hah hah) way. We love him and wish him the best future.
UPDATE: M will probably be with us at least a few more weeks. This CPS worker is slower than slow at getting things done, which is fine with us! We're happy to have M with us for however long they want us to have him.
I think we will start accepting placements again next week, but I still have to talk to Jason about that (he's not answering his work phone so he doesn't know the news yet).
Don't worry, I am handling the news just fine. I feel good about the court's decision, and also I think my previous nanny experience helps a bit, too; I've had to say goodbye to sweet little boys before!
I am happy that M shared so many joyful moments with us when he was here. In that short month he learned to say Pool, Hot, Bear, Baby, Banana, Poop, and some others I can't remember right now. We taught him to sign More, Food, and All Done. We played and laughed many times together, and M helped us to see the Great Outdoors in a different, special, down-to-earth (because he's so short, hah hah) way. We love him and wish him the best future.
UPDATE: M will probably be with us at least a few more weeks. This CPS worker is slower than slow at getting things done, which is fine with us! We're happy to have M with us for however long they want us to have him.
10/15: My Tricksy Little Hobbit
The CPS worker came over yesterday to see how M was doing. She was writing things down with a big, bright blue pen, and M kept trying to snag it from her. She would say, "no, no," and try to distract him with toys. She made some comment like, "redirection is good for kids this age, especially when I need to use my pen!"
So while we're talking, M starts bringing toys over to the CPS worker, and the CPS worker would engage him briefly and then toss the toy away and talk to me again. M brought toy after toy after toy to her. Finally he lugs this big stuffed frog over and gives it to her. She says, "Oh, thank you, M!" and goes to take the frog with both hands. As soon as she puts the pen on her lap so she could hold the stuffed frog, M snatches the pen and streaks off to another room with it as fast as he can go!
It seems that M was trying a little "redirection" of his own!
So while we're talking, M starts bringing toys over to the CPS worker, and the CPS worker would engage him briefly and then toss the toy away and talk to me again. M brought toy after toy after toy to her. Finally he lugs this big stuffed frog over and gives it to her. She says, "Oh, thank you, M!" and goes to take the frog with both hands. As soon as she puts the pen on her lap so she could hold the stuffed frog, M snatches the pen and streaks off to another room with it as fast as he can go!
It seems that M was trying a little "redirection" of his own!
10/08: Pool Baby
M hates taking a bath, so I didn't think he would enjoy our trip to the pool very much, but I decided to give it a try anyway. He LOVED it! This boy had no fear when we got to the pool. I had to keep my eyes on him every second because he favorite thing to do was take suicide leaps off of the edge into the water. Sometimes he plunged all the way to the bottom and got a mouth full of water before I was able to lift him up again, and he loved every minute of it!
Pool may very well be M's first word! (As far as we know he didn't say any words before we got him.) He says it more like "puh," but it's still very exciting!
Man, this parenting stuff is frikkin AWESOME!
Pool may very well be M's first word! (As far as we know he didn't say any words before we got him.) He says it more like "puh," but it's still very exciting!
Man, this parenting stuff is frikkin AWESOME!
10/06: Poop Story
Now that I'm a mom I have to tell stories about poop! It's in the mommy handbook somewhere!
M had an unusually good night; it's the first night that he slept through without waking up at all, and he even slept in a half hour. So I was extra surprised when I went to get him from his crib this morning. His diaper had come off during the night; poop and urine were EVERYWHERE. I immediately put him in the bathtub, and M absolutely hates baths, so he got a rather rude awakening this morning. I have never heard the poor boy screaming so loud!
The funniest part? The only thing dry and unsoiled in his entire crib was - you guessed it - his diaper.
M had an unusually good night; it's the first night that he slept through without waking up at all, and he even slept in a half hour. So I was extra surprised when I went to get him from his crib this morning. His diaper had come off during the night; poop and urine were EVERYWHERE. I immediately put him in the bathtub, and M absolutely hates baths, so he got a rather rude awakening this morning. I have never heard the poor boy screaming so loud!
The funniest part? The only thing dry and unsoiled in his entire crib was - you guessed it - his diaper.
10/02: This Week
I believe the past few days have been my official induction into parenthood! Things have been crazy since Monday!
On Monday I got a bit of a sore throat and a cold. Not too big a deal. M, however, slept practically all day, which I thought was mysterious until he decided to throw up all over me. Three times. I was holding him with his head next to my ear so most of it managed to go down my shirt! Yuck.
On Tuesday M was feeling better, but I was feeling far worse. We barely got through that day; I threw in the towel as soon as Jason got home and went to bed at 7:00. Unfortunately, M decided sleeping wasn't so fun and woke up twice screaming bloody murder and would not go back down. In hindsight I think this must have been when his ear infection really started bothering him.
Wednesday I got a little break because M was transported to Tucson for a supervised visit with his parents. I was grateful for the three-hour break and was able to survive until the evening. At 7:00 M had a fever of 101.5, which isn't a huge deal, except we aren't allowed to administer ANY medication to him, not even vitamins or sunscreen, until we go to his first checkup with a doctor and the doctor makes a list of things we are allowed to give him. (We have an appointment for next Wednesday.) Also, as foster parents we have to cover our butts from getting sued and stuff, so better to be safe than sorry.
So, off we went to urgent care! Five miserable hours later we finally get him a prescription for antibiotics and get home at 1:00 in the morning. I am sicker than M is at this point. I put him in bed and fall into mine, and congratulate myself on the foresight I had to get a substitute for seminary the next day so I could sleep in.
Whew, what a week so far! The trials I have experienced the last few days have made me VERY grateful for the following things:
1. The tile floor in our living room - the throw up was easy to clean!
2. Our futon - just took off the cover and washed the vomit off in the washer.
3. Having a one-story house - so glad I don't have to lug this chunky boy up the stairs!
4. Having a small house - so much easier to keep clean, which is important when you're sick and don't want to clean at all!
5. My husband - so supportive when I am sick, even though he never gets sick :-)
6. The fact that 17-month-olds sleep at least 5 hours more per day than adults do - I'd like to think that God knew what he was doing when he made kids need to sleep more!
On Monday I got a bit of a sore throat and a cold. Not too big a deal. M, however, slept practically all day, which I thought was mysterious until he decided to throw up all over me. Three times. I was holding him with his head next to my ear so most of it managed to go down my shirt! Yuck.
On Tuesday M was feeling better, but I was feeling far worse. We barely got through that day; I threw in the towel as soon as Jason got home and went to bed at 7:00. Unfortunately, M decided sleeping wasn't so fun and woke up twice screaming bloody murder and would not go back down. In hindsight I think this must have been when his ear infection really started bothering him.
Wednesday I got a little break because M was transported to Tucson for a supervised visit with his parents. I was grateful for the three-hour break and was able to survive until the evening. At 7:00 M had a fever of 101.5, which isn't a huge deal, except we aren't allowed to administer ANY medication to him, not even vitamins or sunscreen, until we go to his first checkup with a doctor and the doctor makes a list of things we are allowed to give him. (We have an appointment for next Wednesday.) Also, as foster parents we have to cover our butts from getting sued and stuff, so better to be safe than sorry.
So, off we went to urgent care! Five miserable hours later we finally get him a prescription for antibiotics and get home at 1:00 in the morning. I am sicker than M is at this point. I put him in bed and fall into mine, and congratulate myself on the foresight I had to get a substitute for seminary the next day so I could sleep in.
Whew, what a week so far! The trials I have experienced the last few days have made me VERY grateful for the following things:
1. The tile floor in our living room - the throw up was easy to clean!
2. Our futon - just took off the cover and washed the vomit off in the washer.
3. Having a one-story house - so glad I don't have to lug this chunky boy up the stairs!
4. Having a small house - so much easier to keep clean, which is important when you're sick and don't want to clean at all!
5. My husband - so supportive when I am sick, even though he never gets sick :-)
6. The fact that 17-month-olds sleep at least 5 hours more per day than adults do - I'd like to think that God knew what he was doing when he made kids need to sleep more!
09/27: M
For privacy/legal reasons I am not allowed to use our foster son's name on this website, so he will be referred to as "M." M for Munchin, M for Muggle, M for Marvelous? Who knows. :-)
Imagine being taken from your family and placed with a new one without any explanation. Your new family feeds you weird stuff, goes to bed at weird times, has weird toys...then two weeks later you are taken from this strange new family and put with another strange new family, again without any explanation. You don't know if your mom died, or if your foster parents hated you so they gave you up, or if they all disappeared, or if you'll ever see them again. You're just put in this home with new parents with no clue how long you'll be there or why you're there at all.
M was taken from his biological mom and dad two weeks ago, and placed in a foster home with three other children (some foster, some not) when you are used to being the only child. Two of these other three children are also under 2 years old and also need attention and love. Meanwhile, M is grieving for his mother, and confused and distressed, and the foster parents just can't give him all the attention he needs. This is how M came to be placed with us. Without even considering the abuse or neglect that caused him to be removed from his original home, any kid in this situation is going to be just devastated and in despair.
So poor M just broke down and fell to the floor in tears yesterday afternoon, and this morning. I don't blame him; anyone in his situation would react the same way. Sadness is an important step in the grieving process, and it is vital that children are allowed permission to grieve. So I make sure to stay by him while he is grieving and both times at the end after an hour or so he allows me to hold him and rock him. He is such an angel, it pains me to see that he has to go through this. It is heartbreaking that such an innocent little boy has to suffer so much.
I'm grateful he was placed with us so that we can give him all of the love and attention he needs. It is definitely emotionally draining for me; I never expected to feel so sad that he has to suffer through this. But if it has to happen I will be with him every step of the way, and hopefully he won't have to be sad for long. Please pray for M that he will feel safe and loved so that he can get through the grief process as painlessly as possible!
Imagine being taken from your family and placed with a new one without any explanation. Your new family feeds you weird stuff, goes to bed at weird times, has weird toys...then two weeks later you are taken from this strange new family and put with another strange new family, again without any explanation. You don't know if your mom died, or if your foster parents hated you so they gave you up, or if they all disappeared, or if you'll ever see them again. You're just put in this home with new parents with no clue how long you'll be there or why you're there at all.
M was taken from his biological mom and dad two weeks ago, and placed in a foster home with three other children (some foster, some not) when you are used to being the only child. Two of these other three children are also under 2 years old and also need attention and love. Meanwhile, M is grieving for his mother, and confused and distressed, and the foster parents just can't give him all the attention he needs. This is how M came to be placed with us. Without even considering the abuse or neglect that caused him to be removed from his original home, any kid in this situation is going to be just devastated and in despair.
So poor M just broke down and fell to the floor in tears yesterday afternoon, and this morning. I don't blame him; anyone in his situation would react the same way. Sadness is an important step in the grieving process, and it is vital that children are allowed permission to grieve. So I make sure to stay by him while he is grieving and both times at the end after an hour or so he allows me to hold him and rock him. He is such an angel, it pains me to see that he has to go through this. It is heartbreaking that such an innocent little boy has to suffer so much.
I'm grateful he was placed with us so that we can give him all of the love and attention he needs. It is definitely emotionally draining for me; I never expected to feel so sad that he has to suffer through this. But if it has to happen I will be with him every step of the way, and hopefully he won't have to be sad for long. Please pray for M that he will feel safe and loved so that he can get through the grief process as painlessly as possible!
09/25: Wow!
M is a chunky, happy little guy! He must have had it really rough these past few months, because he just wants to be held nonstop! (Yes, I'm holding him right now.) I can't even imagine how rough it must be moving to a new home
09/25: First Placement!
We're getting our first foster care placement in about three hours! M is a 17 month-old boy, that's about all we know at this point. (And even if I did know more, I can't tell on a public blog.) I'll write an update tomorrow after our first night of being parents!